Amid Darkness and Perishing Flowers
by Nosferatu's Cigarette Binge
Summary: Alternative ending for one of the most upsetting scenes from the 2006 made-for-TV movie 'Born Equal'. Featuring the characters Robert and Michelle, portrayed by Robert Carlyle and the beautiful Anne Marie Duff. Rated T for cursing.


_**Disclaimer:** I do not claim any rights to the characters in this story. A few lines are from the film, I think up to the point where Michelle says "my darling", but the rest are from my warped mind. Oh, and I read this like a bad romance novel, too. _

_**A/N** I wouldn't have written this but the film made me so sad that I woke thinking of it the morning after I saw it._  
_When people are as depressed and desperate as Robert and Michelle, I think they could forget demons of the past if it could mean love and happiness in a life of otherwise hell, even if to some it may seem a form of madness._

* * *

Robert, his head spinning, his vision blurred, looked to Michelle from where she remained in the white glare of his window. "Go back. Please just get out of here and take your wee girl and just go back," he pleaded, shaking his head.

"I can't go back there. If I go back there I don't know what he'll do to her." Michelle, now standing at Robert's side, placed her hand on his face, trying once more to comfort him. "My darling," she muttered, barely above a whisper.

He weakened as she crept closer, finally breaking down in sobs. Michelle wrapped her arms around him. His tears fell on her shoulders and chest as he, in a form of delirium, moved his head to rest on her collarbone; wishing he could collapse into her.

"I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, stroking his head and rocking him gently. They stood this way until Robert's heaving sobs dissipated and the room grew silent. Michelle took a step backwards only to feel a desperate, awkward kiss land on the tip of her shoulder. "I'm so scared I'll lose you..."

"I told you, I'm not going anywhere. What started this?" she asked, her voice full of compassion.

Without need of words, Michelle beckoned Robert to lay beside her on his bed and he slowly lowered himself to the cool blanket, welcoming the support the cheap mattress gave his throbbing skull. "I found out that my ma died two years ago. Two fucking years I've wasted thinking there might be some chance of makin' things right with her. I waited all this time to even look - and now I-I can never see her ag-," his renewed sobs kept him from continuing. "Robert," Michelle cooed, not knowing what to say as she took hold of his clenched fist. "I'm so sorry." Tears fell from her eyes, landing on her hand and in beads in his hair. "God, if I could have only-," he choked into the end of his blanket, his mind suddenly drifting to another source of misery. "Michelle, promise me you won't leave me. Promise me, promise," he begged in a heightened whisper.

"I won't ever leave you. I love you too much, Robert." She wanted more than anything to stop him from doubting her. There was no sense in it, especially now that the love she felt for him was making her want to smother him in her arms as if he were a child.

Shaking, he took hold of her hands and kissed between the knuckles and along the skin where each finger met different bone. Quickly and silently, as in a farewell he savored her. "I lied to you..." He could feel her breath become uneven as it hit the nape of his neck. "When we first met and you jokingly asked if I had killed anyone and I said no, I was lying."

Michelle was silent save for her breath. The still open window hauntingly carried the sound of child's laughter and a running lawn mower into the room, as if from another world. Robert listened in distorted awareness. His mind heavy and a headache starting above his eyes. "That's why you should leave me. I'm not the type of person you or Danielle should be around." His body felt hollow and cracked. His nose ran beyond his mouth, and hurriedly, he wiped at the trail with the side of his hand. He could barely breathe before this hindrance.

He didn't want to move. He knew as soon as he did this moment would end, this dream where he was so close to Michelle he could feel her heart beat, it soon would be over and he would be left with nothing more than a future of ghostly images reminding him how unreal the air had felt, the warmth of her tears, her smile... the only thing he would have left would be the overwhelming remorse of his life.

Michelle was so quiet Robert wondered, for a half second, if she'd fallen asleep. Stifling his sobs, he unwillingly shattered the moment by rolling over to face Michelle who met him with wide, emotionless eyes. His stomach reeled as he reflected on the confession he'd just made, surely he hadn't just told her... It didn't seem real, as if he was seeing someone else's memories. Panic seized his heart as his life was about to end.

"How could you keep that from me? How could you lie?" she asked, still in shock.

"I-I couldn't bear the thought of living without you... What I did was so long ago. I'm a different person now. My actions haunt me every day, I am almost never free of their torment. The only time I am is when I'm with you. You and Danielle purify me."

Her first instinct was to retreat to her room, curl up in bed, cry and give herself time to think things through, but she knew if she left the room she would probably leave him forever. He needed to have some comeuppance for lying to her but as she lay immobilized beside him, fear rising in her tightened throat, listening to his deep, hideous sobs, she tried to clear her spinning head. Closing her eyes she realized her most basic thought was: _we can never be normal._ Her own feelings and thoughts were not her main concern, but the thoughts of others worried her most. In the crown of her skull the concerns of people she didn't know were somehow of vast importance when the person she loved more than anyone else in the world, save for Danielle, was laying beside her. Thinking of the matter as one detached from society, of humankind, her mind cleared of all delusions. How could they ever be considered normal? How- why did the thought enter her mind? They were not normal as it was. They never had any hope of being normal even before Robert's confession. They would never have a house, they would never have respect, but they could have each other. As wrong as it seemed, she could not think of a future without him and so decided to act on the want of her heart.

Fearing what he believed to be the inevitable, Robert kissed her hand. His teeth lightly scraping her skin, and with the eagerness of one expecting death he withdrew from her arms. Not leaving the bed, but trying to unburden her from his touch. He closed his eyes and startled as he felt her hand on his shoulder. "I have made a promise to you, can you make one for me?" Her voice was heavy as she asked.

He looked at her with swollen eyes. "Yes," he choked.

"Promise me that you'll never give me cause to regret my decision to stay. Nothing will alter us if you can say yes."

He looked to her in disbelief, studying her lips and eyes before making his truthful vow. Kissing again her fingers, her cheeks, then finally her lips, he was silent for the tightness in his throat.


End file.
